Allie Crewe

How To Photograph Places That Do Not Exist

A Sense of Place. A walk I did 40 years ago. When I walk I cannot work out how one place links to the next. In my head I have photos of each place, my friend Louisa listens to my descriptions and works out each image, then links it to where we need to walk to. But, how easy is that when the photos are 40 years old and the landscape has changed? As a child I roamed the woods near home freely and navigated the lakes and could follow the paths to the stables. Until recently I could not go back, for my childhood was abusive and traumatic and returning to this landscape was too painful. I went back 2 years ago to photograph my childhood homes, the park, the woods, the school. It was very difficult but something shifted. That is all it takes to open a new doorway. Today Louisa, my oldest friend whom I adore, walked through the woods with me. I wanted to re-trace old paths and find the stables that no longer exist. I felt as if my memory was an eight year olds as I described each bit of finding the stables, the path, the house hidden in the woods, the stream to cross, the track up the hill. It was a fun adventure. It all looks different now but as I described each picture in my head she worked out my route. She said we were the Famous Five (only two women in their 50s), it was an adventure. I’m fascinated by my postcards - this is the feeling of my memories - postcards to myself. When I go in Louisa’s house I pester to look through her photo albums and want to hear the stories. After my childhood of terror I met Louisa and she had this big Manchester Italian family and I had never witnessed familial love before like this. It went on to shape my life, her dad told me to learn Italian; I did. I wanted to belong somewhere. Something happened to one of her sisters that I have always carried. It shapes my work and under pins my new project deeply. When covid permits I want to travel through Louisa’s Italy with her and record it, capture her family story of immigration, find some joy and explore visual memory. To photograph things from the past that no longer exist, to show that immigration always impacts a sense of place and self. 

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