Yesterday I went to my favourite yoga class with Amanda Riley. She began by stating that the focus was “grounding” and we began with the feet. To be grounded is to feel solid, strong, and well-balanced, in body and in mind. Yoga  offers an opportunity to root down, creating a firm foundation from which to grow to be free and joyful. This is a great aim. To stop living in one’s head and to connect to the core self and achieve balance. It normally ends in tears for me.  I adore my root chakra, but after 45 minutes of grounding I got upset. When we have a history of PTSD yoga can activate a trauma response, we are pushed out of our safety zones.  The key is to push this gradually. In class wanted to disconnect for sure, but I stayed on the mat until the tears came. The mat can be a good place to feel a trigger and to try to break an old fight or flight pattern by returning to the breath. 

Can grounding grind us down? Well I do struggle with balance and we should root before rising but I struggle when I get trapped anywhere. Try sticking me in an MRI scanner or doctor’s waiting room and the urge to bolt is strong. If I stay I will begin to shake. This is PTSD. Yet place me in an operating theatre with a camera and I’m chilled, lucky as I’m working for the NHS at the moment! The issue is not the room, but the feelings of being powerless and trapped and knowing something will hurt. Many of you will know this feeling too. Childhood trauma is something we carry. I cannot escape it and yet the irony is that my body screams “run” when I need to remain. It can precipitate a flight or a fight or a freeze or flashback. Thank goodness this is a rare occurrence for me now. Yoga and therapy help.

 Sometimes my fight with grounding is that I prefer to fly. As a child I had my, “head in the clouds” to escape, now I’m much more likely to use my superpower as a creative technique rather than as a refuge. Trauma can facilitate super powers if we find a way to begin healing. I do like the floating off, it is my pleasurable and creative space. I see images and this is where I see new work in photography for me too. The dreamlike state before fully waking or when meditating is bliss and when my imagination is untethered it sees new ways to make photography projects or just a glimpse of an idea to explore. 

When I’m shooting I am barefoot, if you have sat for me you will know I don’t do shoes. I love to spread my toes and feel the earth, or floor. When I hold a camera the shoe confines me, you may notice that I focus on my breathing and find somewhere still inside of myself so that I can fully be present for you. Magnum Photo said my work has, “A lot of  heart and empathy” and my mentor Aj always insists we must shoot from the heart. This is my process and the yoga and portraits are one and the same to me. 

I’m making new work on how we heal from trauma, whether it is physical, or mental pain - the body keeps the score. Get in touch if you want to. 

If you want to know more, click the link to the article below by Susi Wrenshaw from Glamour Magazine. 

https://www.traumatherapymanchester.com/trauma-informed-yoga-article