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Ever Felt Like You Are a Crap Mum?

Have your kids left home yet? Advice needed.

My daughter is 18 and planning which Uni to go to. She is looking at London mostly. So I am thinking about her leaving home a lot, no messy bedroom, a lot less laundry, can she feed herself healthily and find her way around a big city and stay safe? The mind boggles! How quiet will it be when she has gone ( in a bad way I mean)? When they are little we dream of a childfree life again, sleep, a lack of domestic drudgery and worry. Now it may become a reality it does not look so rosy. How fickle I am.

More worryingly she recently gave a verdict ( unsolicited) on my parenting skills. Now I did not have good role models growing up and I made mothering up as I went along. These were my rules: don’t lie to her; ask her opinion; be respectful; if I get it wrong say sorry and try a different way; give lots of physical affection and time and make space for her in my life. Her verdict, ” You were rubbish, not enough rules, you are a hippie,” ( bohemian please). Gosh the most scathing performance review ever! I always felt I had rather tried hard so I didn’t expect that. Now if this was any other job I’d have to choose:

1. Leave job

2. Ask for help to improve skills

Well she is an adult so I feel it is a bit late to start again but I do feel like leaving this mother job. I did admit to being a bit of a fuck up when she questioned me. Amazing how a kid can lower the self esteem ( remember I struggle with feeling worthy and valuable) so now what?

You know why I photograph families? I am trying to figure them out! 

Over to you!

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